Sunday, September 11, 2011

ROMANCE IS IN THE AIR

Not too long ago—maybe two weeks—Jim and I played the role not so much of Cupid as of Recording Angels. That’s probably another way of saying we make good listeners and a good memory of what it’s like in the early days or courtship. Within the same week we were hostages of love by two ardent and loquacious suitors*, but I will admit our hearts are very soft for older couples contemplating a second marriage.

First, an early call at 6 a.m. on a Tuesday with Kenneth saying he’d stop by around 10 if that was okay. Not every African is courteous enough to call ahead and even to arrive on the stroke of the hour. It’s not rudeness on the part of others so much as slippery priorities. Like they want to pin you down to wait for them just in case they can make it. Their intentions are good but they are easily distracted.

Kenneth shows up on the dot, and he and Jim exchange their usual ritual of Black Pope and White Pope dialogue. They’ve known each other so long that Jim can’t even remember the origin but thinks Kenneth may have started it. They both enjoy the implied respect for each other and normally spend an hour or two reminiscing about characters and events in their shared history. Jim remembers Kenneth’s first wife very well and says she was an excellent pastor’s wife. She had been killed in a bus accident.

Within a short time Kenneth is talking about a lady named Virginia. He met her while attending a family funeral in his home area of Zeimba in northeast Zimbabwe. They first met casually at a store while he shopped for the family. After a very satisfactory conversation with an exchange of personal information, Kenneth was intrigued enough to make inquiries in the area. Hearing nothing but good reports, he is pursuing the relationship by inviting her to come to Gweru, located in central Zimbabwe, for a visit to meet his congregation and get a glimpse of what his life is all about. He promises to bring her to us so we can meet her.

Steps to marriage are orchestrated by tribal tradition, and if Kenneth is to marry Virginia he will soon be making arrangements with her family for lobola {bride price]. They will also do something new that’s becoming necessary in modern Africa: a visit to New Start, a clinic where you are checked for HIV/AIDS. Romance quickly turns practical for our Black Africans.

Second, later in the week but also in the morning, we hear a hoot at the gate and here’s Harry come to visit. These impromptu unannounced visits can be great fun, and it’s good to have them happening again. It’s a sign that there’s time enough not to need every minute or half hour scheduled. Of course, you take a chance that people might not be at home or that they might have other visitors. We would see Harry in town from time to time but he hadn’t been by the house for awhile. His first wife died fairly young of a heart attack, and Harry had wanted Jim to take part in the funeral but we were in South Africa at the time.

Soon Harry is telling us all about Patty, and I’m trying to piece together the story as he talks. He is speaking English but Afriakaans is his first language, and I have trouble with the rhythm and slur of his words. I love to hear what he has to say because he is so wonderfully eccentric with a simple and generous code of faith. He is the epitome of the White African, dressed casually in a printed short-sleeve shirt, shorts and long socks. He probably has a helmet or hat somewhere, but I don’t recall him ever wearing one. He is a farmer and a miner of precious stones and covers the country in his work but misses no opportunity to pray for the sick and to speak of a God who blesses those who bless others.

Another reason why I struggle to keep up is that Harry and Jim are talking about people I haven’t come to know yet. Although I do remember when Ralph, Patty’s first husband, died not much more than a year ago. Ralph’s death left Penny alone on their farm, and Harry’s sympathy for the new widow soon grew into love as he helped her sort out the many post-death responsibilities. These included arranging a proper graveside memorial headstone, which Harry undertook with a magnanimous thoughtfulness.

Harry puts me in mind of the legendary knight on a white horse rushing to the rescue not of a young maiden but of a fifty-something widow. He’s helped her in hundreds of ways with no strings attached but now he’s found himself deeply in love. Does she love him, too? If not, he says it’s time for him to bow out. She says she loves him, but she has these three grown daughters who are skeptical of Harry’s motives. On Saturday they will all be together for the first time—Harry, Patty and the daughters. Will we pray for this momentous meeting? Yes, we will.  

Just the other day in town, I was jaywalking [an irritating and annoying challenge for drivers but a practice not yet to a level of the First World Pedestrian Crossings] when a horn hooted. I looked up just in time to see Harry drive by with such a contented look on his face. He wasn’t alone; I’m sure the lady beside him is his beloved Patty.

So, different routes but the same end; two weddings coming up before year’s end.

*Names are false but stories are real.

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